Challenge

Hm. I was challenged with listing 5 of my favorite songs and why they mean so much to me. Given that I love music as much as I do, this is proving to be hard - picking 5 and only 5? So many different songs have meant so many different things to me over the years... So, I'm going to cheat. These aren't necessarily my *favorite* songs - these are 5 songs that have some of the most powerful memories attached to them (that I can think of right now).

With or Without You, U2 - I know, I'm a sucker for cheese (duh). But this is possibly my favorite ballad. It really gained meaning to me in high school, when I began dating this girl that I became obsessed over, regardless of the pain that it was causing. She took me for granted, but it was my fault for letting her do it to me, time and time again. That was the start of several bad relationships and it took me another 6 years to finally find stable ground again. While this song gained meaning in that first relationship, it pretty much defined every single one I had after that.

This House is Empty Now, Elvis Costello & Burt Bacharach - Another depressing tune. My parents got divorced when I was in college, and suffice it to say it was a *very* messy divorce. While my brother absorbed the brunt of the damage (living near my parents and all), at the same time, it was frustrating being so far away. I felt powerless over the immature feuding that ensued. It was my mom's decision and I supported her in it, but I couldn't stop feeling sorry for my father. She had every right to divorce him and I'm glad she did, but he's so caught up in his own world that I still don't think he understands exactly what happened and why. I was watching the Conan O'Brien show late one night at my mom's new apartment when I went down to visit some time right after the divorce, and Elvis Costello came on to sing this song. I held it back at first, but when I went to bed that night, the tears wouldn't stop.

Moon Over Bourbon Street, Sting - Technically, it's not this specific song, but the entire album (I just chose this song because it's one of the songs I enjoy singing in the shower). My brother and I used to travel to Japan - just the 2 of us - during summer vacation. My parents would pack us onto a plane and get rid of us for 2 months a year when we were kids (until I hit 5th grade). It was *awesome*. We spent a lot of time at our grandparents' house and our aunt & uncle's house. While they did make us study some Japanese almost every day for a short period each day before we were allowed to play, but once we were, the three of us (including my cousin, who is exactly 1 year younger than me) would go and do everything we could - build plastic robot models bought from the nearby model shop, go playing in the parks and have little adventures, collect bugs, go to matsuri, eat lots of great food, etc. During one particularly memorable trip through the mountains to go to the beach, we listened to the Dream of the Blue Turtles album for quite a long time. It always takes me back...

I, F-blood - It's a Japanese song by one of the artists I was fairly into back in college named Fujii Fumiya. He and his brother did a little side project that they dubbed "F-blood" (since they shared the "Fujii blood"). On that album is this song. The song does a few plays on the English word "I" and the Japanese word "ai" (love), and the song is about the fact that he had almost lost his way and was hitting rock bottom when he met a girl, and that because he met her at that specific time in his life, it changed everything. It means a lot to me because I was going through something extremely similar. I was at the tail end of the above-mentioned 6 years of instability and was hitting rock bottom after having lived with a suicidal, bipolar girl for a year. Having just gotten through that and coming out alive on the other side, I had managed to get over a lot of my old hangups and issues. It was that specific timing that allowed me to be who I am today, and to actually make my current relationship work the way it has.

Passage, Yamazaki Masayoshi - Another Japanese song. Heavily folk-influenced (my dad listened to a lot of folk when I was little... probably has a little to do with why I like this guy's sound). I listed this particular song because it was the first song that I really felt described me *personally*. While that feeling has certainly died down a bit (it's a fairly melodramatic song), it still makes me think back on the feelings I experienced at various stages in my life. I won't go into horrendous detail, but the song is about reflection - he thinks on the people that have come and gone in his life, the promises that were left unfulfilled, but in the end, he talks of redemption and holding onto one's dreams.


There's my bit of melodrama for the day :)

My Meme. Let me show you it.

Stolen from eingy and Seppo (who subsequently stole it from Niralth)...

20 years ago, I...
1) moved from Diamond Bar, CA to Walnut, CA to avoid going to the really bad high school in the area.
2) most contact with all friends and was fairly lonely for a while, being as shy as I used to be.
3) finally started getting a deeper understanding of martial arts.

15 years ago, I...
1) had finally come out of my shell and become extroverted (growing 7-8 inches in a year will do that)
2) was in the middle of my first long-term relationship... and lost my virginity (too early, perhaps)
3) took part in my first theater production (first and only musical I ever did, too... Though, I also did a version of "Fame," but I didn't sing in that one.)

10 years ago, I...
1) had just ended one of the most unstable relationships of my life and soon after, met the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.
2) had made the decision to quit my bio major and to study Japanese literature.
3) met the circle of friends that would become my surrogate family.

5 years ago, I...
1) had made the decision not to go back to school for my PhD in literature and to see where this career would take me.
2) finally got myself on track financially by paying off the first of many loans.
3) lost my first friend to an unfortunate disease.

2 years ago, I...
1) lost my American grandfather, the first relative I had ever lost.
2) changed departments within the company, causing my career direction to shift considerably.
3) made a commitment to man-up and stick by my woman to help her find her calling in life.

1 year ago, I...
1) achieved the financial goal I had previously assumed I would reach at age 35.
2) lost my second grandfather, whom I had at least had the opportunity to spend more time with, due to all my work travel.
3) lost my best friend of 11 years (my cat) who was the first pet I'd ever raised entirely by myself... but soon after, met the 2 new rascals that would continue to terrorize me for the next year.

Yesterday, I...
1) discovered that one of said rascals has discovered that he can actually get on top of the kitchen counter, making for all new levels of disaster.
2) made the definitive decision that I would make director by next year, dammit.
3) finished setting up my iPod Touch that I got for my birthday and marveled at how far techology had come in such a short period of time.

Today, I...
1) was late for a meeting that was moved up *while* I was driving to work, and by the time I got to work, the meeting was already finished.
2) will kick HR in the but to make sure they're actually moving forward with the hiring a new assistant thing.
3) will cook dinner and do some cleaning when I get home, because it sounded like the woman was a little stressed out over the phone a little earlier.

Tomorrow, I'll...
1) try to get around to playing at least one of the games in the stack of games I picked up over the weekend.
2) turn in my damn expense reports.
3) call both of my grandmas.

In 5 years, I'll...
1) finally be married and hopefully have 1 or 2 kids.
2) hopefully have made senior director or VP at this company, or another one.
3) finally have a place I can call "home," not just a rental that I move out of after a year or two.

Being 30...

...feels suspiciously just like being 29, except I keep expecting to turn a corner, fall down, and break my hip or something :P

In all seriousness, it's actually sorta interesting. I'm in the best shape I've been in in over 6 years, I'm in a good place in my career, I've got a good fiance... and despite having 2 mildly mentally handicapped cats, things are good. I think it's been a bigger shock for my mom than for me (since I'm "the baby" of the family).

I think I'll celebrate with a nice bottle of cabernet tonight that I'd been saving for a while. That sounds nice :)